Random Days on the Road
Sunday, July 18, 2004
We're never alone
In general, I think we like to think that our human experience is unique. Nobody else can understand what another person is thinking or doing because they are not going through the experience. As the CEO said "You can't judge how much I'm suffering." Not to sound arrogant (but I will with that lead in), but I can a bit. Not everything, mind you. Just a bit. But of course our experiences are generally the same with slight differences. Slight.
So I walk over with Beau to a breakfast place down a few blocks (a nice quick walk). And at the table next to me is a woman on the cell phone, complaining to someone about her working with her father. He is not being fair. She wants a compromise. He's greedy. She never wants to see him again.
From what I remember (it's been a blur), that is exactly how I was (and probably am) feeling. Talking to someone on the phone. Out loud. Who cares who hears? I am hurting and I want sympathy. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do ... now. (Sorry, Oasis - great song - Incredibly easy to play on the guitar - is it genius or what? - Sorry, slightly off topic).
When we both paid our checks, I told her that I apologize but I heard part of her conversation and I was going through something similar and hoped that it worked out ok. She thanked me and wished the same. And then we were gone.
I have a need right now to not be lonely. Maybe this blog is the way to do it. On Friday, I had to leave the company golf tournament halfway - partially for Girly-girl's Spanish recital. Partly (and why I didn't go back), because I felt too off. There were supposed to be six people on our team (2 were not playing), but one left. I wound up in a cart by myself. Between one beer and being alone, and sucking and my shooting, it made for a bad combination - I actually understood for the first time what depression was. Yuck. So I didn't go back. I met with MediaGirl and we went and saw Anchorman. Very funny.
KarmaGirl just text-messaged to go to dinner. I guess no Cake tonight (playing up in Winter Park where the CEO is with the kids). but that's OK. I'd rather remain calm. Kids don't come back until Monday night. Oh well - maybe I can do late night grocery shopping.....
